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tension and over compensating

Today is a wonderful series of free evening to watching and reading. I am also planning the summer tour. Herrlich.
In my dream last night I'm in the shape of a little boy and his little sister broke into a nearly inaccessible bunker. We had huge scary deep black canyons between high walls and crawling through narrow overcome vault.
in the heart of the bunker: a kind of looked martial arts studio that was renovated not quite finished, behind the wall lining out old tiles. The style was broadly in a painting by C.
many triangles in any case. The walls match
distanced my protector, I make sure that no one comes too near to me and that I feel my feelings are not as strong. Dizziness and abdominal pain are also included, ie somatization, like all prevention strategies, such as constantly be on the move, a lot of work to occupy myself with food and stuff.
in the heart of the whole, then the martial arts studio, which is then over-compensate, I subil operated so that my therapist noticed it only after 6 weeks and has completely rebuilt my scheme.
I do if I myself and others controlling, manipulative and do the opposite of what I want. If I wear and hysterical good on it , Though I am loud and annoying and cynical. It is a way to feel power and control, though I'm miles away from the feelings, small and alone.
C. It has always been the "stage I" called. And she has sometimes felt much faster than my therapist.
Well, that's right.
A glaring dream.
In art therapy, I once painted a picture of a robot, who was on one side and nothing but flowers blooming on the other, all withered.
If I can be compensated, I everything into its opposite.
I often have made me much pink, but then again people demonized katastrophisiert or circumstances.
It is this shrill undertone that makes me remember now if I over-compensating.
Other images in art therapy, expressive of that for me, were in horrible neon colors with red and black. Eye cancer risk, the therapist is escalopes shrunk properly.
Another symbol that appeared again and again: a great eye. I thought as a child, I observed a large eye in the sky all the time and it was important that I never forget and never let me go.
that I always keep control of myself.
There was no confidence me and no drops.
Now I know that yes, and may try to practice.
was why it is also a step forward that I slept through Saturday and until I woke up when I had already had to be in the nursery.
Brigitte on the phone: "voice of the hooves. I have first made an espresso.
progress.
It is this kind of relaxation that breathes as Julia from every pore. And I laboriously created from nothing.
from a sea of tension. For
tension comes when I rid my feelings by over compensating. Or endurance or avoid, are the three coping mechanisms.